From The Desk of Dr. Kimberly Riley
From the Desk of Dr. Kimberly Riley:
As we look back on the most memorable moments in our lives, we look back with joy and celebration. We try to recall the things that make us feel good and forgot the things that don’t. During this Advent season, what do you think it would be like if you intentionally focused on the less than pleasant memories in your past to gain new insight about yourself?
When we stop long enough to look at some of the painful moments in our life we make room for thankfulness, because we begin to understand some of the reasons behind the experiences. With this new thankfulness we are able to positively reflect on what helped us remain hopeful during the past gloomy seasons of our lives.
By remembering what was helpful and how we effectively managed our feelings in tough times we will have compiled enough details about what we will need for future times of sadness, hurt and pain. So, this year during Advent season welcome the memories you have continued to push aside, move slowly through your thoughts and embrace them for a renewed spirit of hopefulness. Here are a few tips to get started:
Write out your experience, how you overcame it, what you were feeling, and any support people you had.
Talk with a trusted person about your answers to question number 1 if you need some emotional support.
Draw out your answers to question number 1 (maybe share your drawing with someone for the same purpose as number 2).
Take a break (go outside and enjoy nature, listen to music, watch something funny on TV...) between thoughts about your experience.
Celebrate your ability to take the tough details of your past experiences and find enough beauty to create hopefulness this Advent season and beyond.
Dr. Kimberly Riley, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Kimberly Riley, DSW, LMFT, MHP, CMHS