by Minjoo Bayers

(Korean- American, mother, wife, therapist, leader, writer, and thinker)

한

“Han is a sense of unresolved resentment against injustice suffered, a sense of helplessness because of the overwhelming odds against, a feeling of acute pain of sorrow in one’s guts and bowels making the whole body writhe and wriggle, and an obstinate urge to take “revenge” and to right the wrong of all these combined.”

Young-Hak Hyun, Korean Theologian

Koreans are socialized to swallow and hold in all this han. With Paul’s message that it is an honor for Christians to suffer,1 we think it is the “right” thing to do.

So han builds up in layers, deep down, from our bowels to the top of our heads until it spews like a volcano. 

You gotta let that shit out. From the depths of your bowels. From your every atom that make up your body.
May the energy of the release be proportionate to the injustices and tragedies suffered. 

You have to get through it, experience it, with your mind, body, soul. 

It’s gonna hurt AF but if you don’t experience it, it will rot your insides. 

Job 2:11-13 NRSV

11 Now when Job’s three friends heard of all these troubles that had come upon him, each of them set out from his home.... They met together to go and console and comfort him. 12 When they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him, and they raised their voices and wept aloud; they tore their robes and threw dust in the air upon their heads. 13 They sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.

May you experience it in a witness of love, with another’s face, in another’s arms, with eye contact, and without words.

Loving you to empower you to endure the grief and get through to the other side, where hopefully there is truth and freedom waiting.

May it all be fueled by love. 

1 Acts 5:40-41 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)
40 and when they had called in the apostles, they had them flogged. Then they ordered them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go. 41 As they left the council, they rejoiced that they were considered worthy to suffer dishonor for the sake of the name

Minjoo Jane Bayers