Blog

Skull Hill

I see in my mind’s unruly eye

Mob of humanity, sharks circling kill

Bodies, Church, Faith, hope, hopelessness, WomenDanielle Rueb - CastillejoMarch 20, 2020lent, easter, jesus, skull, golgatha, hill, dirt, acid, day 1, day 3, ressurection, ressurrection, loveComment

Pandemic Haikus

Teenager:

My bike is broken

I can only ride scooter

it isn’t much fun.

Bodies, Church, coronavirus, dogs, hope, hopelessness, WomenDanielle Rueb - CastillejoMarch 18, 2020haiku, poems, limericks, poetry, coronavirus, faith, bluebird, love, fear, teenager, parent, worryComment

A Series of Haiku's and Poetry for the Pandemic

(by the Labrador retriever on toilet paper)

These big, white, flaky rolls

make my people so anxious,

maybe I’ll eat one.

Bodies, dogs, Women, wild, lentDanielle Rueb - CastillejoMarch 16, 2020haiku, limerick, poet, poem, blog, coronavirus, toilet paper, quick, man, woman, children Comment

Holy Ground by Becky Allender

Holy ground, where are you now?

The place Jesus stood before the High Priest…

Do you still remember?

Where are you, dirt, which the soldier stood upon and leaped to strike his face when he refused to answer Caiaphas?
What did you feel?

Brown Mother Jesus

We may never fully grasp the level of humiliation for a Jewish man to be naked and bleeding in public. By starting to see this part of Jesus’ sacrifice as a way that Jesus can relate to girls and women bleeding during menstruation, childbirth, and miscarriages, I started to see how much Jesus was like a mother.

Church, church love, Faith, hope, Women, wildDanielle Rueb - CastillejoMarch 9, 2020brown, mother, jesus, korean, american, lent, blood, body Comments

The Road to Recovery

Spaces of dissonance with the life I was coerced into living broke apart. My body screamed, “STOP!”

Friends rushed in. Perhaps they held goodwill in their hearts. Perhaps not. What is clear is that my mind and body were craving validation, and the freedom to express the truth.

Way-Finding: The Journey through Narrative-Focused Trauma Care training

The future is unknown, my plans follow a trail map. It goes off the grid. I haven’t traveled this terrain before, so I’ll be trusting my gut, relying on the witness of others, and orienting myself to Jesus. You’ll find me “way-finding.”

Does the Church ask for Consent, or is Faith linked to Coercion?

Despite the increased conversation around consent in recent years, pockets of conservative faiths that decry the term still remain.
In addition, the lasting effects of a lack of autonomy still reverberate through the bodies of those raised in environments that never taught consent, mine included. With such heartbreaking prevalence of this harm, it is imperative that we continue to build a culture within our churches that embodies the immense value of consent.

My Body is a Sacrifice: Surrender & Re-enactment

I watch her daily, the way her body is continually stretched and worn by the task of growing a new life. Over and over and over again.

“It’s important to surrender our bodies to the Lord,” she says, “If Jesus is not Lord of all, then he’s not Lord of anything.” This logic makes sense to my young mind, and I worry about the ways I’m not surrendering. Does my fear of what the Lord may ask of my body mean there’s something wrong with me?

HOW TO KILL A MEXICAN

Joke to him and to me
he’s there
she’s not seen
I’ll tell you the stories of eyes not blue

I’ll tell you the stories of eyes not blue

Church, Faith, hope, hopelessness, peace, love, Race, Seasons, wild, WomenDanielle Rueb - CastillejoFebruary 22, 2020race, death, blog, podcst, podcast, thearisepodcast, love, hate, blue, white, eyes, carpenter, stories, racism, husband, faith, churchComment

The Church and Consent Part Three

the pews with common faces,

and here, my brown hands

tearing white loaves

for you, for you

my body broken,

i consent

The Church and Consent

In the age of consent and the church, I walked through the door of lying to myself, so I could tell the truth about Jesus and love. The truth about my past wasn’t the truth about Jesus. They did not mix.

I Don’t Make New Year’s Resolutions

It’s early in the new decade – the opening of day two to be exact. I find myself sitting in the car, watching my 12 year old daughter step onto the park fields to kick a soccer ball around in preparation for the upcoming tournament this weekend. I inhale the fresh coffee from my favorite fair exchange brew – it is inviting me to savor each sip.

Church, Faith, Seasons, WomenDanielle Rueb - CastillejoJanuary 27, 2020motherhood, decade, newyear, new, year, new year's resolutions, resolutions, don't, mom, mother, Faith, stuck, struggle, love, children, wife, husband, blogComment

THE PTSD FLU (a.k.a. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Influenza)

There is no predictable season for the PTSD flu, no vaccine to prevent it.

The post-traumatic stress disorder influenza symptomology: chills, fever, body aches, pain in joints, night sweats, trouble breathing, congestion, and restless sleep.

Mary's Song Overcomes

I heard you say, “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me – holy is his name. His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation.”

Race, Faith, Church, WomenDanielle Rueb - CastillejoDecember 18, 2019mary, mother of Jesus, Christmas, Jesus, son of God, church, faith, women, woman, women who lead, Hebrew, race, love, unconditional love, peace, song, singing, angels, struggleComment

It Still Hurts: Toward a Theology of Hopelessness

It Still Hurts: a theology of hopelessness

Churchy Sermon Sundays are focused on James the “Just”, with the latest monologue on the subject of generosity. None of it is relevant. Or, maybe it all should be relevant. I don’t know. Despair surges past our hope.

The Post-Conference, Vulnerability Hangover and other Musings

There are a lot of thoughts that go through my head after women get together, share vulnerable spaces, and return to the hustle of every-day life.

Fight Through the Eye of the Needle

The church must fight through the eye of needle to enter into the kingdom of God. Evangelical Christianity must risk its wealth and power to accept Jesus’ invitation to Eden.

I see in my mind’s unruly eye

Mob of humanity, sharks circling kill

Teenager:

My bike is broken

I can only ride scooter

it isn’t much fun.

Where are you, dirt, which the soldier stood upon and leaped to strike his face when he refused to answer Caiaphas?

What did you feel?

The future is unknown, my plans follow a trail map. It goes off the grid. I haven’t traveled this terrain before, so I’ll be trusting my gut, relying on the witness of others, and orienting myself to Jesus. You’ll find me “way-finding.”

Joke to him and to me
he’s there
she’s not seen
I’ll tell you the stories of eyes not blue

I’ll tell you the stories of eyes not blue

There is no predictable season for the PTSD flu, no vaccine to prevent it.

The post-traumatic stress disorder influenza symptomology: chills, fever, body aches, pain in joints, night sweats, trouble breathing, congestion, and restless sleep.

Follow me on social

instagram | Facebook

BLOG

I see in my mind’s unruly eye

Mob of humanity, sharks circling kill

Teenager:

My bike is broken

I can only ride scooter

it isn’t much fun.

Where are you, dirt, which the soldier stood upon and leaped to strike his face when he refused to answer Caiaphas?

What did you feel?

Spaces of dissonance with the life I was coerced into living broke apart. My body screamed, “STOP!”

Friends rushed in. Perhaps they held goodwill in their hearts. Perhaps not. What is clear is that my mind and body were craving validation, and the freedom to express the truth.

The future is unknown, my plans follow a trail map. It goes off the grid. I haven’t traveled this terrain before, so I’ll be trusting my gut, relying on the witness of others, and orienting myself to Jesus. You’ll find me “way-finding.”

Joke to him and to mehe’s thereshe’s not seenI’ll tell you the stories of eyes not blue

I’ll tell you the stories of eyes not blue

i consent

There is no predictable season for the PTSD flu, no vaccine to prevent it.

The post-traumatic stress disorder influenza symptomology: chills, fever, body aches, pain in joints, night sweats, trouble breathing, congestion, and restless sleep.

Joke to him and to me
he’s there
she’s not seen
I’ll tell you the stories of eyes not blue